I am pretty sure that "Teenage Dream" video has moved to the top second spot on the front page of Hulu solely because of me.  You are welcome, Darren Criss.  You may thank me with many kisses; I shall supply the footstool that is necessitated by how I would tower over you with my 5'8" self.

I just spent five minutes analyzing this picture to determine what makes her smilies cuter than others.  I made lots of samples on a Post-It note.  I think it is the largeness of the eyes, the wide set distance between them, and their nearness to the ends of the smile, creating the impression of a baby's wide, circular face.

Also, I figured out the difference between a chrysalis and a cocoon is more than that the former is made by butterflies and the latter by moths.  Cocoons are not the actual pupae, which is the hard exoskeleton, but rather, the silk case which holds the pupa.  I think this confirms my preference for moths over butterflies.

The lack of obvious perspective in this picture (OF A CATERPILLAR, DO NOT CLICK, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) makes the little bugger look the size of a koala, aka about half the size of Darren Criss.

I've also been analyzing this picture to figure out whether this was taken in a UMBC dorm room; the wall, bed, and desk fit, but those are also probably common.  I always doubt the judgement of men who are interested in me; there must be something terribly wrong.  Oh, God, they messaged the wrong person with a very similar username.  There must be a pneumaticfleshlight out there or something.

When I was in a French airport, this guy made eye contact with me and wouldn't look away and I worried over whether this was the Mediterranean eye contact as flirting or the Glaswegian eye contact as prepping for a fight.  What if my face is bleeding.  And if it is, which is worse: That my bleeding face horrified this cute guy, or that it's turning him on?

This is what I have been doing instead of this paper.  What looks like slacking off is actually very rapid processing and synthesis of information.  I promise.