A Scottish-English Dictionary

I wish I was better at keeping an updated blog, and I have so many post ideas!, but for now, I give you a Scottish-English Dictionary:

A4: Scottish paper is longer for some reason

alfredo sauce: does not exist in the UK; the "creamy lasagna" sauce is a poor replacement, but now I know where the UMBC dining hall gets their slightly off-putting cream-based sauce

Argos (AR-GOSS): catalog store, where I write down the catalog numbers of insanely cheap items, hand the sheet over to the cashier with a mad grin, pay obscenely few pounds, and then pick up my beautiful new pots and pans or dining set at a second counter

Asian: South Asian, aka, Indian, aka, delicious curries everywhere yessss

aubergine: eggplant

caesar salad dressing: also does not exist

céilidh (CAY-lee): a social event with Scottish country dancing, involving called step instructions, gender binary-conforming partner dancing, and individuals who are really too pissed to be dancing at all so they should stop trying before they hurt someone, aka, me; also, insanely fun

chippy: a restaurant that serves fish and chips

Clockwork Orange: Glasgow subway system, one of the first in the world; it has only two rails in a circle through the city, one going clockwise and the other counterclockwise

coins: worth more than in the States, so don't fucking dismiss it when you drop them; surprisingly easy to figure out the system

courgette: zucchini

Cranachan: traditional Scottish dessert, made with raspberries, whipped cream, whiskey, and honey, topped with toasted oats, as in, "Does anybody else want another Cranachan? Oh, we've still got some alcoholic ones, do you—" "Give me one with whiskey."

deep-fried Mars bars : aka, "Oh God, oh God, my heart"; also a traditional Scottish dessert, tastes like a doughnut at first, then despair

Dreucher's: the better-tasting beer that I have had

Edinburgh (EH-din-brah): an old city with a castle overlooking everything; more conservative and tourist-ridden than Glasgow

Glasgow (GLAHS-go): an industrial blight transformed into a city of culture; more bohème and student-ridden than Edinburgh

gin and tonic: "No, guys, I am so good to walk right now."

haggis: traditional Scottish meal, like shepherd's pie except it uses the sheep parts left over after making shepherd's pie, aka, love it

Hillhead Street: one of the streets GU student apartments are on; it is half a minute from the library and the Hub, one minute from classrooms, and two minutes from the Hillhead subway station, supermarkets, and pubs

Hub, The: aka, the Fraser Building; commons building with student services, food services, and a bookstore named after Adam Smith

Irn Bru: Scottish water; mix between cream soda and bubble gum soda; grows on you strangely quickly

"Is that your way?": "Are you going now?"

Jaffa Cake (jahf-fa kayk): chocolatey, orangey cakes; supposedly addictive

ned: see chav

nips and tatters: turnips and potatoes, served with haggis

"Oh, no": a phrase that still utterly charms me when said in a Scottish accent

Oriental: aka, Far East; something I still have to get used to or it will be a long semester

Rocky Road: a candy bar, as in "Oh, and I got Rocky Road." "Oh, nice, a pint?" "What? No, a bar." "What?" "What?"

Shap: an English village in Cumbria where IFSA-Butler students visited to see what a real Scottish family is like—wait

snow: shuts down Scotland with relative ease, as the Scots are unused to heavy ice or snow and has invested no money into sanding or salting the ground

Strongbow: delicious cider

Thursday: shopping day, where stores stay open late, as in they close at 7:30 19.30 instead of six o' clock

University of Glasgow (GLAHS-go YU-nee): see Hogwarts; also very proud of Adam Smith and Lord Kelvin, among others

working class: fucking poor people (as opposed to the US use of the term, which is nobler, more Real America^TM)

vodka and white: "We're still trying to figure out what white is." "Probably roofies."